Humor
My New Goal in Life: Own an Elected Official
Yesterday I was listening to NPR or more correctly our local public radio station, WSIU, and heard a story about who in Illinois had contributed the most money to Illinois Politicians. The top contributor was a Chicago Law firm followed by a couple of businesses in Illinois. The amount they contributed was staggering. The amount they contributed would have employed several hundred people at wages well above minimum wage.
If your so inclined, get on the net and do a search of campaign contributors in Illinois for your county. It will surprise you who in your county contributes money and to whom. In my little search I found that some people contribute and equal amount of money to “both sides”. As an example I saw one fellow locally who contributed to the local Democrat House member and to a Republican House member in another district. The shocking thing is the amount of money that goes outside of the area to other states where these folks do business as well. Even in a bad economy some people have a ton of money to use to buy a politician.
Make no mistake about what these folks are doing with their money: They are buying access and influence to elected people. When you donate a million dollars you just purchased a Senator, House Member, Judge or Governor. You might even get to own a President.
OK there is nothing new here is there?
Nope, nothing new at all.
So why are you bringing this up now?
I always thought the way to change America, Illinois and Franklin Co. was for good men and women to run for office and get elected. Folks with morals, conviction, Godly values and dedication to the working men and women of this nation.
That is a grand falsehood.
I have been living in the “Land of Make Believe” with Mr Rogers.
In reality all you need is enough money to buy one or more elected officials.
Its like going to the mall and looking in the window of the pet store. There are all the cute puppies playing and pooping and you pick out the one with the spots you like and pay at the counter and he is yours. If the dog acts up, you jerk his chain and get him back in line.
So with an elected official, you go to the State House, Senate, Governors Mansion and you look in the window and you pick the dirtiest, lying, cheating, immoral, valueless and brainless scumbag you can find who will sell his soul for money and you buy him. Then you jerk his chain, his wife/mistress/boyfriends chain or kids chain when they act up and he gets right back in line and does your work for you.
Simple isnt it.
All it takes is money.
So my new goal in life is to make enough money to buy my own elected official…..
And from the looks of the contributors list here locally the old saying holds true………you do get what you pay for!
Dont go cheap……….even if that money could be used to feed the homeless or employ hundreds of folks…………
Thanks NPR……..you enlightened me today.
Happening now on the farm.
Busy under-describes the amount of activity going on right now.
Finished up hauling my January contracted corn this week. Glad to have that done……..it seems like it took for ever and I guess it did with all the meetings I have had and time away from the place.
Pioneer came and got their seed beans so we spent part of two days loading semis. The big plus is we got it done before the rains set in!
Progress on the new building has come to a halt with the rain and winds so no new updates or pictures of progress on that front.
Waiting on the last of the planter parts to get here so we can start the rebuild on it.
Waiting on the last of the NH3 parts so we can start the rebuild on the anhydrous tool bar.
We did get the planter monitors back from AgExpress………… that’s good news!
The next few days will be spend trying to catch up on all the paperwork that has piled up between meetings and hauling grain.
All in all, I would rather shovel grain than push papers………..
Free Advise
Whats the difference between free advise and paid advise?
Well the $ for one.
But I have to wonder what some people think when they ask “Can I get a little free advise?” Do they understand what they are asking?
You never hear anyone say “Can I get some cheap advise?” or “Can I get some low cost advise?” or “Can I get some discount advise?”
They want free advise.
I recently overheard a man ask a marketing man for some free advise. He gave him a short quick answer that sounded very vague to me and ended his comments with “this is worth what you paid for it.”
To me that signaled “I didn’t give you anything.”
The marketing man then turned around to one of his customers and proceeded to give him a boat load of information, opinion and explanation on what the markets were doing. I would say that the guy got his moneys worth from what little I heard him explain.
In other words “this is what your paying me for and here is the value“.
Free advise is somehow better than no advise and more desirable than cheap, low cost or discounted advise.
Why do some folks value free advise so highly over paid advise?
Do they not understand that they “get what they pay for?”
I don’t know, I just found this interesting today…………..and thew it up to see if it would stick.
Just some free advise……….
Why I hate the end of the year.
I really hate the end of the year for so many reasons.
Holiday Parties. Everyone seems to have one, often they conflict with another party and its either a full blown affair or its finger foods and such. Heartburn, heartburn, heartburn.
Gift Exchange. Or really its gift card exchange anymore……..lots of thought in that.
Tax Planning. Hurry up and get to your tax man followed by hurry up and either trade equipment or buy fertilizer. I just refuse to participate anymore.
Equipment and Fertilizer Dealers. Wait until the very last day or two of the year to finally price anything because they know they have you hostage. Again I just refuse to participate.
Cyber Sales. I love shopping on line anymore because no one keeps any inventory. That being said I can do without the 50 plus emails a day from companies I have got stuff from announcing their daily 50-75% off sale of the day.
The Merry Christmas vs. Happy Holidays debate. The 500 emails a day from friend forwarding an email that got telling me that they say Merry Christmas instead of Happy Holidays.
The last two times two on Facebook.
Watching grown people act like idiots in stores. Please people please. Get off you materialistic high horse, drop the attitude and relax a bit would you.
Holiday Business Schedules. Everyone has a different schedule for when they open and close and so forth based on just about everything I have mentioned. Getting anything done is a challenge.
Knowing that I just got use to writing this years date on everything and I will go through the next six months writing the wrong year on everything.
Year end meetings. Lets cram as many meetings as we can in before the 31st so that we can say we got it all done in the previous year. Just poor planning on the part of so many organizations.
That’s just a few, there is not enough time for the exhaustive list…….
Does anyone know the team colors anymore?
I have recently been amused by all the talk going on by those who identify themselves as baseball fans, particularly Cardinal fans, about one of their players signing a huge contract with another team and leaving St Louis.
“Where is his loyalty?”
“Its all about the money isn’t it?”
“I am going to burn all my Albert Cardinals merchandise!”
And so on……… You get the picture don’t you?
Anyway not being a fan of “games”, and I view baseball along with football and basketball as games, not sports. I have found this whole things very amusing to say the least. Watching grown people, mostly in size only, wine and cry like a bunch of preschoolers who either messed their pants or who have had their toy taken away over a man making a business decision is humorous.
No one knows the team colors anymore. No one loves the team. Its all about the player and not the team.
When the manager of the Cardinals retired after the World Series win, where was all the bellyaching then?
Where is his loyalty?
Its all about the money isn’t it?
Nope, you didnt hear that did you? You heard things like “Smart move Tony” and “He did a good job” and “He was a great manager” and so forth.
But Tony left just as Albert did. Only for different reasons.
One of the reasons I loathe the NBA is what Michael Jordan did. When the Bulls won it was all about MJ and his great score in the game. When the Bulls lost it was all about the rest of the team. It was never about MJ when they lost or the Bulls when they won. The media and the fans forgot that it takes a team to win or loose, not one player. When they won it was MJ and when they lost it was the team.
Was MJ a great player? Yes, I guess he was. But was he any better than anyone else? Nope, I don’t think so because he had a team behind him. A team that was ignored by the media and the fans. Other great players who had such a supporting team behind them could have done some of the same great things.
Its all about the team.
So Red Bird fans your either a Cardianl fan or your not. If you know the team colors then you understand that its not all about Albert or Tony but about everyone who sits in the dugout as well as on the field. You will understand that Albert did what he did because he is a businessman and it wasn’t personal. You will give him the same thank you and courtesy that you give Tony who is also a business man.
And you will put on your generic Cardinal shirt or hat and sit in your seat and support the team. THE WHOLE TEAM. You will know the team colors. And when the Cards trade the next great player away from whomever you wont gloat but understand it was a business decision and support your team.
Otherwise your no different than what your trying to make Albert out to be……..
Confessions of a Brass Hawk
I read a story four or five years ago on a message board or magazine somewhere, I can’t remember where, about a guy who picked up every piece of spent brass (the fired brass cartridge casing) he would find. The story was several pages long and it was funny as it could be, mainly because minus a detail or two, it sounded like me to a great extent.
He talked about picking up brass that his buddies left at the range, at the side of the road, at the bend in the road, that shooting spot in the middle of nowhere or wherever he saw it lying and no one claimed it. The story also included a funny bit about finding a guy living in a house trailer in the middle of nowhere that had several oil drum barrels of spent .308 or .30-06 and how he tried to trade him out of it and ended up with one drum full. He then later went back to try to trade or buy the rest of it and to his amazement the man, trailer and everything was gone from the property except the mail box.
I can’t recall a lot of the details of the story other than those, but I remember it was titled “Confessions of a Brass Hound” or “Hoarder” or “Hunter” or something like that. It was funny.
I think everyone who shoots, picks up brass. We can’t help it. We either know someone who reloads and would want it or we reload and want it. Even the calibers we don’t shoot we will pick up because we “might get a gun that would shoot it” in the future and we would already be a leg-up on components, saving us big bucks! (Insert smiley face here)
About the time I read the article, I was working down in the southeastern part of the state in some “backroad” places and would be driving down some rock roads and find places where folks had be shooting into a creek bank or off a bridge or whatever, and I would stop and there would be brass everywhere. I would get out and pickup .38, .45, 9mm, .357, .223, .22-550 and even the occasional .270 or .30-06. I got to where I even made a loop over to the roads or bridges where I knew there was a good chance to find more brass since my last visit there if I was in the neighborhood. Some days I would have a plastic grocery sack full of brass.
Needless to say it began to accumulate that summer. I didn’t have a -06 or .270 or .45 so when I got “enough” I would sell it or trade it at the local gun shops for some components or .22 rim fire. Everyone wanted brass. It was worth a pretty penny and worth even more if I ran it through my tumbler before I tried to peddle it. The other calibers I would keep because I either reloaded those or thought “I might get one” in the near future. Again it accumulated and those calibers that I “never did get” I would sell or trade off when the notion hit me.
Fast forward to this past week.
A buddy of mine got a .308 the other day and wanted to know if I had any brass. I think he already knew the answer. I had some “just in case”. He wanted me to price it to him and after much consideration I did. He said he would have to think about it.
Then he said no he would pass.
I couldn’t imagine that I had priced it too high, so on one of the days when I was out an about I stopped by a gun shop and was asking about reloading and brass and the guy behind the counter said he was interested in buying brass so I told him I had some .308. What he said next shocked me.
“Not interested”.
What?
I guess I must have turned white or something and he followed up quickly that “.308 shooters are not reloading these days” and that “they don’t want reloads or reloading components”.
.308 shooters in this area are not interested in shooting reloads or reloading?
I guess I just find that hard to believe but apparently it is true. At least here “locally” the brass market for big calibers is dead. I can’t imagine that they are not picking up their brass. I can’t imagine that the economy is such that shooters are not considering reloading or stocking up on components. Pistol brass is still a commodity. .223 brass is a commodity. But big caliber brass is dead.
I think if I get the chance I will make a loop one of these days back down to those back roads and bridges and see what people are shooting, if anything, by what brass is laying around. And I will keep picking up brass because someone will want it or I will need it “just in case” despite what .308 shooters are doing here locally.
Inventory and Receipts…..
Between things that have to get done I have been trying to get some things done here in the office and in the house that I have neglected or that got pushed to the back burner because of everything else that has gone on this year.
One of those projects that I got started over the weekend and am hoping to finish up today is installing the new kitchen counter and sink that has been laying in the family room for the better part of 10 months. So at an hour here and a hour there I am down to installing the sink and plumbing it up.
Which means a parts run this morning…………
So off to two (2) local businesses to get the stuff I need. Why not one (1)? Because no one in this economy will stock any inventory. Its not just hardware stores its farm equipment stores and tire shops and everyone with inventory. They are all happy to order, at an additional cost, but no one has any inventory. So it takes two stops to get what a fellow needs to do an odd job.
But I am wandering off topic………
I could get started on this inventory and parts thing esp. with equipment dealers who charge a premium for ordering stuff but I won’t. I have learned to save gas on the farm side and just go online and order it that way. Its here in 24 hrs delivered to the door by the Brown Truck of Joy (UPS) and I don’t have to leave the place, drive anywhere and find out they don’t have it…….plus its always flat rate shipping that is cheaper than the gas to drive to the parts store anyway……….
But again I wander off topic……..a blog for another time.
I got home from my parts run and put the receipts down on my desk so that I could record them in the checkbook. You know a receipt, that strip of while thermal paper that comes running out of the cash register or computer printer once you complete your transaction and pay for your items. A receipt. A receipt is an evidence of purchase. A receipt is an acknowledgement that a transaction has taken place.
Well, I guess we are so stupid as a nation anymore that this morning when I put the receipt down on the desk, I noticed on top of the of the white thermal paper, in bold face type the following: THIS IS YOUR RECEIPT.
What? I mean what have people been thinking the paper they get was? THIS IS YOUR RECEIPT. KEEP THIS FOR YOUR RECORDS.
Is being able to identify what a receipt is at this particular business so difficult that they have to print THIS IS YOUR RECEIPT on the tickets? Is this some legal junk to keep them from being liable for returns or has there been a problem legally where they have to state to the customer that they have got their receipt?
If any of this is the case I don’t want to shop there anymore. Why? Because that much stupid could rub off. Both in the business that has to tell its customers what a receipt is and in the customers that shop there.
Its no wonder our country and economy is in so much trouble……………
Persistence
Persistence: To continue steadfastly or firmly in some state, purpose, course of action or the like, especially in spite of opposition remonstrance, etc..
I am trying to persist.
Its not easy it seems anymore.
Took the weekend off and went to Evansville to the Appleseed shoot at Red Brush range and had a very enjoyable time despite the 40 mph winds that played havoc with our targets both days. 20+ Americans persisted over the weekend on the line to improve our shooting skills and learn our heritage. It wasn’t easy or fun a time or two when the wind kept messing us up, but we persisted and shooters improved and learned and never quit. And we had fun despite the wind.
On the way over in the New Haven bottoms we saw lots of combines, auger wagons and trucks trying to get the harvest out in that area. They were persisting. It didn’t look like it was fun in places with the soil conditions but they were making a dent in it before it rained. Having said that, the crops looked good from the road. That however doesn’t mean much this year as a lot of fields that looked good from the road haven’t been good at all.
I got started with fall tillage yesterday but got rained out. I will persist at getting it done when the ground dries out again.
I have been trying to get back in the swing some how to keep this blog more updated and relevant but I cant seem to get it done. That being said I will persist at getting back on track………..
Headed down to see what I can do to help with the radio problems at the Region HQ for the Earthquake Exercise today. A lot of people have persisted in getting this program set up for RACES/ARES to help and we continue to persist at making sure it will work if and when we need it to work.
The “to do list” gets longer every day but we persist at working on what we can when we can and getting it done.
So in honor of persistence, this blog will be labeled as “to be continued“……..
My New Bag Phone
Remember bag phones? I do. When I got one it was the best thing in the world. Or it was but it wasn’t. You could make calls from your vehicle and if you really wanted to you could hook a battery up and sling it over your shoulder and carry it with you. The battery didn’t last long, it was heavy and wasn’t worth the trouble. There was no caller ID, no missed call alert, no nothing, just a phone. It worked great as a phone allowing you to make those calls you needed to make. It was a tool of convenience.
Today, as predicted then, your cell phone is now your do all computer, phone, text, email, internet, phone book, Twitter, Facebook, weather radar, grain market ticker and a list of apps and downloads for whatever else your into. It is your way to stay connected to the world. You can literally do everything you need to do in your office on your phone while sitting in your vehicle or café or where ever. You’re connected.
Connected. Well pardon me while I disconnect myself. If all of this “being connected” is the eight lane information super highway, when I am taking the next exit for the information super cow path. You all know what a cow path is don’t you? That little worn down dirt tail in the cow pasture, a trail with grass on both sides, an occasional cow patty in the middle of the path and beautiful scenery on both sides. Have you forgot what a cow path is?
The last few weeks, ok really off and on for the last few months I have experimented with my new bag phone. No I don’t have a real bag phone, but I have turned my Droid into a bag phone. It says in my truck. I don’t carry it when I am out of the truck or working around the farm. It says in the truck. It stays in the tractor or combine when I am working in them because it is a safety device. I have been stunned at the amount of work I can get done without my phone on me. I can work without the constant calls, emails, Twitter updates, market updates and so forth.
In short my “new” bag phone has allowed me to get blue collar work done that my white collar phone wouldn’t let me.
Now let me be clear: I have made a lot of money with my Twitter account the last two years give or take a month. Not in selling a service or product on Twitter but just in having the largest research community in the world reporting information to me that allows me to make farm decisions quicker. I don’t care about Brittney Spears or some junk like that on Twitter, I care about the dollar, grains, crude, potash and the like. Yep there is money to be made with Twitter. You have lots of people willing to share freely what they know and you have to get dialed in but there is money to be made off that info for any farming operation.
Same thing with those market and product updates sent via text message. But I don’t need play by play information taking up my day and phone call after phone call in between those Tweets or texts to keep my hands busy on the phone vs. on the work at hand. So by conscious effort, I have taken the first exit I could find off the paved eight lane super information highway and found the fist cow path I could take. I have even begun to change how I do email and have found more peace of mind in it all.
Oh I like to go to the over pass and watch the fast cars go by, but there is something, maybe more to be gained by taking the cow path.
So if you need me, send me a text, email or Tweet. Call me and leave me a message. Just as soon as I get back in the truck I will check my bag phone and get right back to you. Don’t worry I haven’t left the world of technology, still on Twitter, Facebook and blogging, just taking a break and listening to the cows moo, the birds chirp, the wind blow and the bugs talk while I work.
Bad Joke Thursday
Three surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.
The first surgeon said, “Electricians are the best, everything inside is color coded.”
The second surgeon says, “No, I think librarians are, everything inside them is in alphabetical order”
The third surgeon shut them up when he said: “You’re all wrong, politicians are the easiest to operate on, there’s no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine, plus, the head and the butt are interchangeable!!
In honor of the Debt Ceiling agreement
Archie Bunker…………
Time, its not all its cracked up to be.
Time.
24 hrs in a day.
60 minutes in a hour.
60 seconds in a minute,
1440 minutes in 24 hours
3600 seconds in an hour.
86400 seconds in 24 hours.
Time.
365 days a year. (unless your Dir Homeland Security Janet Napolitano, then there is 364 see her comments here)
7 days a week
52 weeks a year (yea 7 X 52 is 364, who knew the DHS was so smart?)
Time.
There is never time to do it right but there is always time to do it over.
We waste time by burning daylight and try to make up time by burning the midnight oil.
Time.
Whos got time, I’ll make time, you got the time, when I get time, what time is it, time for a change, tying to make up time, killing time, time and time again, is it time, time time time is on my side, if I had time, the time goes by, our time is gone, where did the time go, time has expired and I have run out of time.
Time.
Wow, that post just wasted 10 minutes I will never get back.
Everyone is an expert, just ask them.
I seems that we are bombarded with experts at every turn anymore. If there is no one to serve as an expert, someone seems to always self appoint themselves. In some cases there are gatherings of experts walking all over each other trying to get to the top of the expert pile. Most of these folks while possibly well meaning or even good hearted generally have no clue what the heck they are talking about or they come across so absorbed in their own self promotion that they are not tolerable.
Case in point #1: I got a notice that a person to whom I have a very casual knowledge of had passed away. Upon following a link to read what happened I found a gaggle of experts on a discussion board that not only knew what happened to him and how it happened, but his life story in many details. The kicker is that the 4 or 5 pages of comments were dominated by three or four people who were telling all the other people they were wrong. The funniest post was were one person commented on the deceased’s connection with Illinois, to whom the lead expert on this fellow admitted he didn’t know he had any ties to Illinois then wanted proof that the commentator knew what he was talking about. Funny to me but I can just imagine how sad it might have been for any of the family members who might have happened upon this mess. I do know the “one” head expert mentioned above in this discussion, he is an expert on everything he talks about, just ask him. He is one of the skid-marks in the underwear of life that we, regrettably, cant dispatch in a burlap bag with a concrete block tied to it over a bridge into the river.
Case in point #2: While I was trying to find some ballistic information online I came across a discussion on how the .17HMR was not suitable as a coyote round and would not kill anything bigger than a prairie dog. Having dispatched coyotes, at range, with my .17HMR I thought that I must hurry out into the fields and tell these coyotes go get up and run along, despite the smell and decay, as they must be mistaken that I had killed them. The expert was using all kinds of “math” and “physics” to show that the .17 lacked the punch and power to take a dog down beyond 50 yards etc so forth at nausea. Despite testimonials and the comments of a real hunting expert (a person acknowledged as knowing what he was talking about), this fellow held to his guns that you needed a big gun to kill coyotes at range. Maybe coyotes in Ohio wear bullet proof vest or their fur is like Kevlar due to difference in their winters or something. Despite this expert, I still dispatch ole wile coyote with a .17HMR at every opportunity.
Case in point #3. I have been bombarded with propaganda to attend a farmer/consultant field day on growing corn and soybeans like a “high yield expert”. I do attend field days, when there is something to learn or there is a topic of interest. Its just part of the learning and educational process that farmers must go through if they are going to compete and stay profitable. That being said this particular field day is a big JOKE. Its put on by a couple of self promoted and self proclaimed experts whom I wouldn’t let on my farm. One half of this Abbot and Costello team I have know and been some what acquainted with for over 10 years through a friend. They are only about the sale and what they are selling today is better than what they sold yesterday. Did I say this was a joke already? What do they know? NOTHING. Most of what they are going to present is either stolen from universities, picked from other companies with similar products or services and other field days or is not proven with independent non biased research and is only being used to end up selling a couple of products that they get kick back for. Yet, with no industry certifications or qualifications, they have set themselves up as experts, and got the backing of people who should know better, on growing high yield crops and are fleecing attendees for big money when its all said and done.
Case in point #4. The University of Illinois Extension. A complete Chinese fire drill of experts who have never “been there or done that” trying to tell the world how much they know about the real world. Nuff said there.
Yes, I have had my fill of experts this year already. That is why I wont be going to any more field days, conferences or meetings other than a very select few for the remainder of the year. That is also why I have assigned junk and spam status to a lot of emails from experts and why I have erased several talk and discussion boards from my internet favorates.
The result of riding myself of so many experts is that my blood pressure is much lower lately.
Trust me, I know what I am talking about…………..
